I Woke Up Different Today

I woke up different today.

Not the kind of different you plan for.
Not the kind that comes with excitement or anticipation.
The kind of different that can change everything.

This is surgery day.

I tried to look “okay” on the outside. I answered texts. I smiled at the nurses. I nodded when people said, “You’ve got this.”

But inside, I’m shaking.

The Silence Before Surgery 💓

There’s a strange silence before surgery.

It’s not loud. It’s not chaotic. It’s almost peaceful — and that’s what makes it harder.

The world keeps moving out there. Cars drive by. People go to work. Coffee shops open. Life continues like nothing is happening.

But in here, your heart gets louder.

Every beat feels amplified. Every thought feels heavier.

You start thinking about small things — your bed at home, your favorite meal, the sound of someone you love laughing in the next room.

You think about what you don’t want to lose.

Fear and Hope in the Same Room

Fear is real.

Anyone who says they aren’t afraid before surgery is braver than me — or maybe just quieter about it.

I don’t know what it will feel like to open my eyes afterward.
I don’t know how long recovery will take.
I don’t know what changes might be waiting on the other side.

But I do know this:

I want to come back.

I want my life back — my hugs, my routine, my future. 🌿✨

I want the ordinary days I used to overlook.

What Courage Really Looks Like 🙏💛

People think courage looks strong and steady.

But sometimes courage looks like trembling hands signing consent forms.
Sometimes it looks like tears you quickly wipe away.
Sometimes it looks like whispering a prayer you’ve said a hundred times before.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear.

It’s walking forward while fear is still there.

It’s choosing to trust the doctors.
Choosing to believe in healing.
Choosing to hope when the outcome feels uncertain.

Today, I’m walking forward.

Scared.
Hopeful.
Human.

And if you’re reading this because you’re facing something hard — surgery, illness, uncertainty — I hope you remember this:

You can be afraid and brave at the same time.

And sometimes, simply showing up is the bravest thing you’ll ever do. 💛